hh_clubs | Potions Activity 5, Term XIX: Snape's Diary: Voting!!

Activity: Snape's Diary
Duration: Voting: 3/27/2011 - 3/29/2011 23:59:59 UTC
Points: 1st/2nd/3rd/Participation only 50/40/30/10

A. Dear Diary,

Today, I decided to become a vegetarian. It reminds me of the perfection that is Lily Evans. Eating meat just makes me feel so heavy and full and depressed. Lily Evans, however, is full of joy and love and laughter. Joy and love and laughter that I will never experience. Just like my lost, lonely button. I must find that button! If the Potter boy finds my button, then I will never, ever, be able to experience any happiness again! My beloved Lily Evans wasted such a precious egg on this boy. As for James Potter, he was a waste of life. Which is why I’ve decided to become a vegetarian! Slaughtering those innocent animals for their meat is a terrible, terrible thing. It is a waste. Just like James Potter was a waste. Wait…what. What am I saying? This makes no sense. I must clarify. James Potter’s life was a waste. I want to honor Lily Evans’ memory by becoming a vegetarian because she is all that is wholesome and delicious and not tainted by diseases like mad cow and salmonella! Perhaps, I’ll become a vegan and not consume any products from any animal at all. Only time will tell…

B. Why do I even bother with schoolwork? Every time I do anything at all in Potions class, Professor Slughorn always believes it's because Lily Evans helped me when really it's the other way around. For the amount he favours them, you would think he had been a Gryffindor in his Hogwarts days. Not that I attend Quidditch matches, for example, but I wouldn't be surprised if my Head of House showed up wearing red and gold instead of our own house colours! Granted, I don't mind too much because Lily is my friend... but if she ever were to (for some unthinkable reason) ally with that nasty bully James Potter and his nasty friends, whose sole purpose for being is to make my life as miserable as possible, then I would probably go insane or something. Or maybe I'd simply join an organization whose sole reason for being was to make that blasted Potter line die out: the thought of any trace of that blasted James Potter being gone from this universe would make me incredibly ecstatic. Well, at least he's sufficiently abysmal at Potions that Slughorn's positively treasonous pro-Gryffindor bias has never leaked to saying anything that favoured him...

C. Dearest Diary,
It has come to my attention that Minerva is just stringing me along. She only wants me for my excellent potions skills, an area she has always been weak in. It became clear to me tonight, when she came to my quarters and stole three potions bottles. Had she asked, I would have given her them willingly, but she didn't. She spent several minutes sweet-talking me and pretending to borrow a Quill, and with my love for her so strong, I'm embarrassed to say I fell for it.

I can't help myself; the way she drinks her pumpkin juice during breakfast, smiles at me when I chastise one of my Slytherins and holds her robes up when she climbs the stairs. There's just something about her that no other woman could compete with. I'm a fool, and I'm a fool that's going to continue to make the same mistakes again and again, for next time she comes knocking on my door ready to take some more potions, I'm going to let her in and pretend she's really there for me.

What makes matters worse is that I really believe Albus has a soft spot for her, and the way those two interact makes me sick. The laughs, the smiles, the dance at the Yule Ball. Can they really blame me for my outrage that night? It should have been me she was dancing with. Me.

Oh, cruel life.

Yours,
Severus Snape

D. Dear deadly Diary,

Sometimes I wonder if it was the right choice… you know not to go for it when I had the chance. Each day is an excruciating reminder of the past and my wrong decisions. And now, I cannot change what’s been done. I cannot make the dead alive. Each time I go back into that dusty dark chamber called the classroom for potions, and each time this smirky little boy comes in, a rage arouses me like a thunderstorm.

It’s pathetic.. even this .. scribbling things into this darn diary. That’s what’s left when you have no one, you can call a friend. Nobody to trust.

There was only one person in the entire world, I trusted. When I think back about the time I was myself a student one girl took my breath away. Lily Evans!

ARG…… ENOUGH OF MY OVERLY EMOTIONAL CRAP…. THINK, THINK… SNAP OUT OF THAT, SEVERUS!!

Bahh, .. now I am feeling well, there is nothing better than good cup of energizing tea. Gosh, I hate it, when have those moments… feels like weak girl.

It’s this school, I am sure of that… it only softens you. It’s soo far off realitiy.. gosh, Dumbledore should know better, but he doesn’t care, he likes his pink bubble. When the Lord comes back, he will notice his mistakes and realize that it will be too late to do something against it.

FACTS OF THE DAY:
- Two new Veritaserum brewed
- New Potions Books ordered (intermediate)
- 1 Hufflepuff, 2 Gryffindors detention
- Teacher meeting

It seems like a pretty ordinary day. I should be satisfied. Anyhow, I found a new Defense against the Dark Arts book in the restricted section of the library. Gonna read it now, before going bed.

Note to myself: cut this emotions-overwhelming-you-feelings. It’s disgusting.

Xoxo
Severus

E. Dear Diary,
I'm feeling stupid today. I was with the Dark Lord when I peed in my pants as I was scared of the dog that jumped on me and at that time I really needed to pee but there were no toilets around so I did not bother to ask the Dark Lord. It was so embarrassing! I wonder if the Dark Lord noticed that I peed. OH how am I going to ever forget this embarrassing day? It is just too humiliating to think of the other deatheaters laughing if the Dark Lord mentions it during a meeting with the others. I hope he does not mention it! I hope his opinion of me, a loyal and faithful deatheater, would change just because I peed in my pants like an immature freak. I hope that the Dark Lord does not use Legilimency on me to know what I am thinking. I shall use Occlumency against him, no wait then the Dark Lord will suspect that something is going on and torture me! Anyway he is too powerful for me to use Occlumency against. Then, I will need to use Obliviate to make me forget everything and then use this diary to make me remember everything.(Tears out this page)

F. Today I awoke to the unceasing barrage of raindrops against my bedroom window. The wind outside wailed like a small child in pain and howled like Lupin did when he tried to murder me in my sixth year. It was three thirty in the morning, but I was unable to fall back asleep. Whenever I closed my eyes, all I saw were their faces, chanting at me. Bother. Bother. Bother. I counted every speck on the ceiling above my bed. There were 2,193 specks. One of them looked like the moldy potato I consumed last week at dinner, shortly before becoming violently ill. I wept.

I had a splitting migraine for the remainder of the day due to sleep deprivation. At breakfast, my porridge tasted of cardboard and failure. It was stagnant, like my life. Headmaster Dumbledore asked me if I would like to come to his office and remove my clothing with him. I promptly fled to the safety of the dungeons. On the way to my office, Mrs. Norris bit me. The wound is inflamed and vaguely purple. My most ardent hope is that it becomes fatally infected.

The orange one exploded a cauldron today in class, spilling an acidic poison onto the classroom floor. It ate through the Longbottom boy's shoes and I was forced to dismiss him to the hospital wing. I took 100 points from Gryffindor and rewarded 200 points to Slytherin because the Slytherins had avoided stepping in the spilt potion. Draco Malfoy beamed at me, and I shuddered. He reminded me of what his father had done to me at the last Death Eater meeting, and I was rendered incapable of rational thought for fifteen minutes.

Tonight, I attempted to strangle myself, but I didn't have the energy.

G. I am not wrong often. I am a calm man. I have control over my emotions.

When Dumbledore hired Lockhart, I thought it couldn’t get worse. I was wrong.
Then the Valentine’s Day fiasco happened –Lockhart’s idea, of course!-- and I lost my calm.
I lost control over my emotions the evening of that annoying, tiring day when I found the students of my House partying in their common room way past curfew. I'd been on my way to the kitchen, to ask the house-elves for a midnight snack, and what do I see? I did not hear it, cause someone apparently had performed a very strong silencing charm, to keep the noise inside. I should not teach my seventh years such things.

Well, my darling idiot students had turned the common room into an utter mess, loud music was blaring, there was something that I suppose resembled dancing, and quite a people were snogging, too. Naturally, some hands were at places I wish I could unsee. Damn hormone-ridden teenagers!

Some of them had provided alcoholic beverages even. Of course, many of the younger boys and girls had got their hands on them as well, and the first one to succumb to the results of their poor judgement call was Blaise Zabini. I couldn’t find any of the prefects, nor the Head Boy, so I had to take him to Madam Pomfrey myself.

It only got worse from thereon. Apparently, Mr Zabini took me for someone else—I couldn’t quite understand the nonsense he was babbling about, but it must have been about someone he fancied—as he then began to run his fingers along my throat in sluggish movement, before he tried to kiss me.

A student tried to kiss me! I almost let him drop in shock.

With my mood having reached Fiendfyre levels of dangerous, I returned to the common room, only to find Pansy Parkinson dancing, or better said, trying to dance, in nothing but her bra and skirt on top of a table, and Terence Higgs vomitting all over one of the couches. Perhaps, it was due to Miss Parkinson’s drunk performance. It was hard to tell.

That was when I snapped.
There might have been further damage to the furniture from my side. It is hard to tell in hindsight.

I could not find the culprit, or better said, proof for who most likely was to blame for this outrage, but I am convinced that it was Marcus Flint. This boy has been a loose cannon since his first day at Hogwarts. Worse than the Weasley twins at times, and just as skilled at hiding his traces. This is why I am very much anti-House Unity. Imagine the damage the twins and that boy would cause if they banded!

Not that it matters.
In five hours, my dear students will be woken from their slumbers, hopefully hungover, and made to clean the common room before the first class of the day.
If they do not manage in time, there will be no breakfast. If they arrive too late for their classes; their fault.

I am not going to deduct any points, but that does not mean other teachers won’t.
Also, there are better, more effective ways to punish one’s students.

Having to clean up their own mess, no magic allowed, and with a throbbing headache as well as a constant feeling of nausea should teach them a lesson. I will perform the Sonorus Charm on myself, and bark orders at them, too. Let's see how they're going to like it!

Furthermore, I would love for nothing more to happen than Lockhart being devoured by that monster which allegedly lives in that alleged Chamber of Secrets.

Well, the odds of that happening are nonexistent at best. I am just going to sit down, and have a drink of that Ogden's Old Firewhiskey I found after my silly students had fled the common room. Unopened, as my luck would have it.

On that note, Filch has to better his searching of students who are returning from Hogsmeade. One more person I am going to have a talk with pretty soon.

Oh Salazar, why did I ever sign up for this?!

H. Dear Diary:

Today, I caught a flash of bright red hair streaking down the dark halls of the castle and my brain reflexively screamed "LILY!" though I'd clamped my lips closed. How it that even years later, I see her everywhere? Her hair is in the color of the sunset, her eyes in the bright green of the grass in springtime. Every night I am haunted by her, and every year I anticipate the pain to lessening, but it never does.

Even now, when I've resigned myself to never being able to love her, or hold her, she maintains her hold over me -- and it is even more painful to know that this impulsion she has over me is not one she would've have asked for or even wanted.

Harry bloody Potter, with HER eyes settled into James' face, makes me ill. Each time my gaze sweeps across him, I wonder what OUR child would've looked like. What kind of father would I have been to someone birthed of a Lily Evans-Snape? I could have protected them from Voldemort, had they been mine. We could have lived a life full of words and love and magic.

Instead, I'm forced to wander these dark corridors, one leg on each side of a fence that will ensure that no matter who wins, I will lose.

I. Dear Diary,

>:(
Yesterday Potter and his little friends stole my diary. Right out from my room. I caught them mocking me in the quad. Oh would that Dumbledore would let me curse the boy into oblivion. I dreamt about the incident last night. I was tortured by the sound of their laughter as I wished for relief. When I awoke I calmed my nerves with a nice bowl of porridge while humming a soft melody to a shrunken spleen in one of the jars in my office.

Today I shall make them pay. I will write down my plans for revenge here, dear diary, for surely they would not dream of stealing you again after the intense glares I gave them yesterday as punishment. Their snickering only showed how frightened by it they truly were. First I plan to slip veritaserum into Potter and the Weasley runt's goblets one breakfast. The purest form of humiliation should be watching them spill all their own secrets for all to hear >:) Next I plan to put Frizz Potion into the Insufferable Know It All's shampoo. LIke her hair needs any more frizz, pah. After that I plan to borrow Nagini from my best friend the Dark Lord and terrorize them for a bit. Potter's way with snakes should have no effect over her and I will cackle as they are terrorized! Ahaahahha!

Thus, my revenge will be complete.

Love,
Severus

Sup Snape, you may not want to leave your ~revenge~ plans open on your desk and keep the door unlocked. But thanks for the heads up! - Harry

Drat.

J. Dear diary.
It's me again. Severus. It's been a while my friend, I missed you. But I have so many emotions I need to get out.
I'm here to talk about Lily again. My lovely, wonderful, precious, pretty Lily. You remember her don't you? I'm sure you do, diary, take a look inside yourself, page 16, there's a piece of her beautiful dark red hair.
Oh yes. Today I saw a lily, and it made me think of Lily. I picked it up and ate it. Now. A part of her, is inside of me, we are one. I like the thought of this, it's like she's with me wherever I go. Are you here no Lily?
After that I went into the forbidden forest. This the only place I can be alone, no humans are around. It's a safe place. I can think about her here, sing about her. Sing to her, if she can hear me, which I believe, she can. Remember her. Those pretty green eyes That beautiful hair, I want to touch it. Stroke it. Feel it. Eat it. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't eat it. Well, I will have to go back now, I love you Lily. Forever and always.

Your Severus.

K. Dear diary,

Another dreadful day. After being kicked out around midday, I walked into the staff room to raucous laughter. Apparently the Longbottom boy fears me most, and when faced with a boggart, conquered this fear by dressing me In his grandmother’s garb – a handbag and dress and, worst of all, a hat adorned with a stuffed vulture. If only they knew… it’s been twenty years to this day, yet I remember it vividly. My buzzard and I were skipping in a meadow, completely carefree, taking in the joy of a summer’s day. While playing an invigorating game of hide-and-seek, poor Buzzy was captured by that foul woman. Captured and transfigured to perch atop her hat for all eternity. Horror upon horrors! Oh, how I yearn for the day buzzards are given equal rights. So that they might fly and frolick and feast upon the scraps of roadkill in peace, no longer fearful of crotchety old women looking for accessories!

Buzzy, it is the memory of you who gets me up in the morning – you and only you. I look in my reflection and see not a crooked nose, but a beak as glorious as yours was, and black hair so similar to your luscious feathers. One day you will be avenged, my fowl friend.

Sigh,
Severus

L. Today I had a quiet breakfast in my room before I had to suffer through more Potions lessons with the insufferable students. Several cauldrons exploded throughout the day. These idiotic students are currently cleaning the potions classroom without magic. So all in all it was a rather normal day.

Normal until dinner. While mindlessly eating my dinner a strange thing happened. Harry "the brat" Potter strutted across the Great Hall to the Slytherin table. He approached Draco and proceeded to kiss him, right there in the middle of the hall. Draco didn't even put up a fight.

While everyone was still in shock from this, Draco stood up and practically dragged Potter out of the Great Hall. Murmuring broke out across the hall but I quickly left the table and followed the two. It was a bit suspicious and I believed that Potter had done something illegal to Draco. I followed them up to the seventh floor, where they proceeded to quickly call up the Room of Requirement. I was momentarily amazed that any students had found the room and missed my chance to stop them.

I waited outside the room for a long time but eventually I gave up. I'll just have to have a little talk with Draco about it tomorrow. Hopefully he hasn't done anything stupid with the brat and can find a way to regain his reputation of Slytherin ice prince.

M. I finally got that shipment of fresh lacewing flies in. It only took six months for the supply company to get it through their heads that I really did order 600 and not 60. This isn't some tiny school. This is Hogwarts. We actually use the things here. Not to mention Longbottom alone will probably spoil a hundred of them easily.

I needed Runespoor eggs for my own personal potions, and these obviously cannot be procured through a supply company. I had to make a trip to Nocturne Alley for this one.

While I was there, I saw Lucius Malfoy at Borgin and Burkes. I do wonder what he is up to. Or rather, I just hope he managed to watch his back well enough not to implicate me in any of his shenanigans.

Albus is serious about letting Lupin teach here this fall. We start in three weeks and Albus still can't find the man (I use the word lightly, obviously). I think Lupin is more likely to escort Black into the castle himself than to protect Potter. The man has no backbone, and I'm more than a bit convinced that the two were more than just friends. Lily said something once...

Ah well. I hope Lupin stays missing. We'll all be better off without a wild beast roaming the halls pretending to be a professor.

N. May 30, 1993

It feels peculiar to write about a diary within a diary, but given the circumstances this feels rather appropriate. Lucius has been using the Dark Lord's magic for his own ends. For me, this is all the proof I need that he does not believe the Dark Lord will ever return, or he would not have acted with such reckless abandon, never mind putting a Dark object into the hands of a child so close to Potter. (Lucius is all talk after all; his son is starting to sound just like him- keep an eye on Draco until summer)

It was destroyed last night. Potter and Weasley were looking particularly smug with themselves (more than ever), but it's hardly surprising: neither of them would bother to think beyond the immediate. The diary was some sort of Dark magic, yet I do not recognise it. I do not know of a curse that allows a diary to possess a child, control a Basilisk and manifest a spectre of its former owner, yet this is what happened last night.

There is one thing it could be, yet it is very obscure Dark Magic. (Note to self: research Horcruxes)

If that was a Horcrux, it is now destroyed. But the soul encased within it was anchoring the Dark Lord to the living, so does this mean he is lost? It doesn't seem right. Perhaps it is not a Horcrux after all.

Pomona wants assistance in reviving the Muggle-Borns with Mandrake Potion. Check ingredients. Ginny Weasley needs to go in Detention- at least this way she can write something for somebody with a pulse.

O. Dear Diary,

Today I remember why I joined the Death Eaters in the first place. Potter and his friends were too busy giving me the stink eye to realize their caldrons had overflown and ruined my tables. I wanted to punish them, but Albus said in a staff meeting not to punish the golden trio, as they need to breaking into many rooms to solve this year's Scooby Doo Mystery. When I came in he informed that it was what the muggles call Halloween, which I had already known it reminded me of my pet Lily and how he died eating candy corn and I wept. Through the the sounds of my sobs I could hear Albus chorusing "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!"

I did the most dramatic coat flip I could muster and stomped my diva-tastic little heart out of there.

Dear Diary,

Albus says I still need to give something good to eat or he is going to fire me, I felt myself feel a tiny a bit of relief before he said that he was kidding an would never fire me, I died inside. I fed Lily VIX, noticing her upturn in her bowl, thankfully I have Lil Lily left I do not know what I would do without my fish.

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up to see that Albus had filled my room with candy and a large scroll with things I can do other than feed him something good to eat, I thought about rubbing my dark mark, I resisted. I searched around for my Lilys and you, they were all dead. I made a mental note should the chance ever arise I would kill him.

Dear Diary,

Today I smelt Albus's feet, he insisted and got Peeves to pin me down, they smelled of petuli oil and thin mints, did no one tell me it was Girl Scout Cookie time? He danced around with glee at my submission, I count the days until I must sacrifice myself for the cause.

P. 25 December, 1992:

Began these diary entries as a form of catharsis ever since that Potter boy started at Hogwarts. Had to have some sort of outlet, else would be irresistibly tempted to fling him off the highest tower or drown him in the lake. And his little friends, too.

Read through earlier entries and was struck by how much anger and frustration these pint-sized menaces cause. However! A positive entry for once. Something that- impossible as it may seem- brought a smile to my face. And to make matters more surprising, it was one of the insufferable trio who elicited this reaction.

That clever clogs, Miss Granger, felt so confident in her skills that she decided to stray beyond the bounds of the second-year text and experimented with the Polyjuice potion. However, the arrogant little brat made an elementary mistake by adding the wrong ingredient- a cat hair! Cat hair, I say! For one reputedly so intelligent, it baffles me how she confused feline and human hair, but of course, as I always told Minerva and Filius, regurgitating the text book isn’t a sign of intelligence. Rote memorization is nothing impressive, it’s the practical application- and their little darling failed miserably.

Could’ve laughed when I saw her face as I delivered the potions Poppy requested. If it would not have irrevocably damaged own reputation, I would’ve. Still, I held it in til I got the chance to use the Pensieve later and relived that memory. Then it would not be contained any longer.

Possibly one of the most satisfying days in this job yet. Shall have to return to this moment in the future when they inevitably infuriate me once again. A pity it didn’t affect Potter and Weasley as well, but one out of the three was amusing enough. Shouldn’t be too greedy.

Cat hair…!

For future hilarity:

That certainly made this Christmas less intolerable than usual. Definitely my most amusing Christmas yet.

Q. Today began like many others before it, that one instant right before I realize I am awake and the dream is still there I roll over and think she is going to be there with me and I feel the cold bed. It takes more energy each day to just get out of bed and knowing I would have him in my classroom today just makes it even harder.

I have tried to be nice to the boy, or so I keep telling myself, he is her soon and I know that but I just can't seem to get past the fact that he looks like his father. There is too much bad blood in that relationship that I just can't do it.

So I will continue to do what I can for him and Dumbledore and The Order behind the scenes so that I don't have to friendly to anyone. I will do everything in my power to make sure he is the one that lives for her.

Bloody hell as I look back and read almost the same entry many times before this one it just makes me look more pathetic and miserable and unhappy. Maybe I can just send him to detention as soon as he arrives to class and spare myself of looking at him today.

R. Today I tried to invent a new potion. Maybe Lily would forgive me if I created something amazing -- she is very interested in potions just like I am, after all. But in the midst of cutting up my daisy roots, as they must be all equal in length, Potter burst into the Potions classroom and knocked over my cauldron. I was mere hours away from completion and I know Lily would have loved my potion. It was meant to enhance all five senses and it would be perfect for studying, among other things. But I failed to write down each step as I completed it and I don't think I'll ever be able to recreate what I had brewed. I will probably still try again tomorrow. Even if this potion doesn't win Lily's friendship back, I'm sure it could be useful. Some of my fellow Slytherins would surely be interested.

Potter is always ruining everything. I bet he can't even brew a Forgetfulness Potion. Speaking of which, perhaps I will brew up a small vial and slip it into his morning Pumpkin Juice. I would need to get my hands on some monkshood first. I wonder if Professor Slughorn would give me some of his supply. He is usually some accommodating when I talk to him about potions. He says I have a real gift for it. It's probably my attention to detail. I better go get started!

S. Dear Diary,

Another day at this blasted school. It's just so hard being "the bad guy" and it is really wearing on me. If only people REALLY knew what I've done and been through. But they don't, instead I just continue to be called greasy behind my back. As if I can't hear them. Hmph. Joke will be on them though, one day it will all come out (though hopefully not my past part, because hello, EMBARRASSING) and they'll realize they had me alllllll wrong.

I'm hoping once this is all cleared up and everyone gets to know the REAL ME that maybe McGonagall and I could go on a date finally. As it is right now, she won't give me the time of day. Despite everything I've done for Dumbledore, he still won't put in a good word for me. Infuriating! I know she comes off a bit stuffy, but really I think I could get her to loosen her bun, if you know what I mean.

Okay this is all I can write for today. My next class will begin shortly, double potions with Slytherin and Gryffindor. I'll tell you though, as much as I'm looking forward to the day when everything comes out, I will miss picking on Potter. It's just too darn easy.

SS

T.

U.Dear Diary,
Today Potter and his friends made fun of my hair again, yelling in the Great Hall about how greasy it was. Will write to Mother to see about special oil-free shampoo. Cannot help my overactive oil glands in my scalp.

At least it's better than the time they charmed my head to be full of bubbles. Absolutely could not concentrate that day. Bubbles kept falling into my cauldron. Earned the worst grade ever (an Acceptable) in Potions that day.

Had a nice lunch with the Giant Squid. It was a pleasant surprise to see him above the surface of the Black Lake for once. Much more entertaining than talking to the water and hoping he can hear.

Lily still refuses to speak to me. Tried to go by her common room last night (she should realize how difficult that is in itself) but she ignored me. Suppose my crying was a bit much. Thinking about cursing Potter to impress her. She seems to hate him anyways.

Sincerely,
Severus

PS: Just received an owl back from Mother. There was no note and no shampoo. The only thing in the package was a wig. Not sure what she is trying to suggest.

V. Today I had the opportunity to torture Harry Potter. It was during a Potions lesson. He was fooling around, like always, with his two annoying little friends, not paying attention to a word I was saying. My mind was going wild with ideas of what to do: make him drink his probably completely wrong potion, which, if the stars were in my favor, would kill him. Or at least poison him to the extent that he would not return to my class for weeks. Months maybe.

Or perhaps I could just toss out his potion, not count it for points. Maybe try out Crucio on him just for kicks. Embarrass him in front of others. Give him detention for the millionth time.

All these ideas were going through my head. I was getting excited, eagerly anticipating my next move.

I made my way over to where Potter sat. He was oblivious. I grabbed my wand, ready to make my move, but then, before I could, the little Granger girl looked up. Looked into my eyes.

And I couldn’t move. I was frozen. I couldn’t speak.

I just stood there, looking at her, for who knows how long, images of things I shouldn’t be thinking about racing through my mind.

Torture for Potter was long gone. It was I who was being tortured.

Bloody curses.

*******

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