hh_clubs | DADA: Kryptonite Voting (Reply)

Below the cut you will find the excellent stories about HP Character's weaknesses! Vote for you favorites!

Entry 1.
Title: Putting the CRY in Crystal
Entry: It was a common misconception that Remus Lupin’s Kryptonite was the full moon; after all, he was a werewolf! But that was not the case: he knew that whenever the moon WAS full, he had friends to keep him in check. People who knew that the round shape the boggart turned into was actually crystal ball usually thought that he was afraid of Divination; after all, crystal balls were used in that subject. However, that was wrong too. What was true was that by the magic of word beginnings, crystal made him cry. And as crystal balls were the largest form of that tear-inducing substance commonly found in the Wizarding world, it was in that form that his Boggart appeared.

This was true even though there was only one time that Lupin was actually exposed to crystals: during his second year at Hogwarts. For some reason he thought it would be a good idea to try and ask Head Girl Andromeda Black out for a date, despite all the obvious reasons why not. Just before he did, though, he caught a glimpse of a piece of crystal and started bawling like a baby: humiliating himself in front of his then crush. And even though Lupin eventually succeeded in seducing his old crush’s sexier daughter, he still would consider himself a crybaby to his dying days.

Entry 2.
Title: Squeaky Clean, How Obscene
Entry:
Severus Snape had never been one to care about his looks. He had always cared much more about his books and preparing to go to Hogwarts so he didn’t mind the disgusted looks that his Muggle neighbours gave him whenever he went outside in his horribly mismatched clothes and slimy hair. But since he’d started talking to Lily Evans, the pretty Muggleborn girl that he’d always known was a witch, he became more self-conscious and decided that greasy, curtain-like hair would never get him the girl.

Which is why he was currently in the personal care section of the only supermarket in Spinner’s End, looking awkwardly at the various bottles of different colours.

“Anti-Dandruff, Fragile Hair...ah, here it is, Oily Hair!” He smirked and went over to the counter, paid and hurried home to try using shampoo for the first time in his life.

He turned on the shower, got under the warm spray of water and opened the shampoo bottle. A sweet, fruity scent of strawberries hit him and a pink, viscous liquid gushed out of it.

Brilliant, he thought, now he was going to smell like the five year old girl with pigtails who always carries her unicorn around, who lives a few houses away. He should have definitely checked the smell before buying, but here he was, the shampoo already in his palm, so he decided to get it over with.

As soon as he finished washing and rinsing his hair, he felt something happen to his hair. It felt lighter than usual (probably because the regular grease weighed at least two pounds) and he felt a slight breeze around his ears. When he turned to the mirror, his eyes almost popped out of their sockets: he had developed a ‘fro! An obscenely huge, frizzy, strawberry-scented ‘fro that was covering his head as if it were some sort of helmet!

And that was when he decided that he would never, ever use shampoo in his life again. Severus Snape just didn’t do ‘fros!

Entry 3
Title: Bad Breath...Air Raid!
Entry: Well our very own Hermione was always hooked on oral hygiene because of her parents who are Muggle dentists, so she knows all about keeping her little pearly whites all clean, but after that chance encounter at the Burrow when Mr Oblivious a.k.a. Ronald Weasley wiped a bit of Colgate spearmint toothpaste off her ripe red lips, she has been fascinated by another type of oral activity involving Ron...Kissing! *smirk* so now when she thinks of him, she instantly thinks of brushing her teeth, or when she is brushing her teeth, she begins to get flushed thinking about how he touched her lips with his fingers. No wonder that girl has the best oral hygiene at Hogwarts and looks so flustered when she is sprucing up before bed!! So this is why, bad breath and horrid oral hygiene is Hermione's kryptonite, she can't abide by it, its more intolerable than laziness and stupidity in her books! This says a lot! I mean when Hermione has to resort to eating horrible hors d'oeuvre at Slughorns party to avoid being accosted by Cormac McLaggan, and she herself have bad breath, it must have been horrible. She would have felt "unclean" and hurried to brush her teeth, floss, cleanse with Lysterine and repeat to feel normal again! OCD much?

Entry 4
Title: Snape's secret
Entry: Snape gave the object a wary glare. He had known the moment he saw it that it would wear him down. He could already feel his defenses crumbling in the face of it. He closed his eyes and tried to gather his strength, but he knew it was useless. This…thing…was going to defeat him. Of all the things Snape had been through and survived, he was going to be bested by this. He remembered a Muggle film he'd seen as a child. This man had a weakness to something called Kryptonite. He could hardly stand to be in the presence of the Krytonite, and he felt weak when he was.

That's how Snape felt. Weak, helpless…utterly defeated. He sat down on the floor next to it, finally giving in. He scooped the bunny up and cuddled it to him, rubbing his nose in its soft fur. He sighed happily. Though he knew he'd be mortified if anyone found out, Snape could not deny his undying love of fluffy bunnies.

Entry 5
Title: My Treacle, My Trial
Entry: Harry had always had a great love for treacle tarts. There was nothing like them; the way the golden syrup oozed out as he bit into them, the flaky crust, the almost cloying sweetness, the way it sat on his tongue as he masticated to his heart's content. In his mind, he called the process of eating his favorite treacle tarts 'five minutes in heaven.' He'd often extend it to twenty minutes, just to savor the flavor of the tarts he loved so much.

But then, twenty minutes became thirty. Thirty became forty. Forty became an hour. Then two hours. Four. Ten. Ginny saw the signs, and tried to stop him, but as Harry's frame grew rounder and rounder, his ears became smaller and smaller. Then, he couldn't hear her at all, and she left, taking the children with her. And Harry Potter sat at the table, scarfing down tart after tart. When he could no longer lift them to his mouth, Kreacher happily poured them in, eager to please his Master, even as his master faced his demise. For soon, Harry Potter was no longer the fit young Man Who Lived to Defeat Voldemort. He had become... a treacle tart.

What, did you think I was going to say he got fat? What are you, some kind of fat shamer?

Entry 6
Title: Snape's greatest weekness.
Entry: He had an itchy feeling in his limbs, and he didn't like it. It reminded him of that time when he thought the Dark Lord had been on to his treacherous double spying adventure, and he had thought he was down for the count.
As Severus Snape walked down the Hogwarts hall, this feeling just wouldn't leave him. Spotting Neville Longbottom, he decided that some pupil over punishing would do him good, he quickly made his way to him. Yet, the closer he got to the boy, the weaker he felt.
"Longbottom!" He barked, trying to get back to his usual self. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be attending Professor Sinistra's lesson?"
The boy turned to face him, and Snape almost fainted. Thanks to his already cadaver-like complexion, nobody saw him getting paler and paler, also a little greener.
The boy wasn't moving, paralized as always in front of the Potion Master. Snape could see his knees shaking, and he tried to get himself back together.
"Go, now, or I'll make you eat that hairgel potion you were brewing!" Snape sniped at him.
In a jiffy, the boy was running away with his decoction. The further he went, the better Snape felt. Combing his hair, he went back to his dungeons, wondering what this had been about.

Voting deadline: 11:59 pm UTC on Friday, Jan 28