DADA: Dark Arts in the Muggle World

[mrdavismd.livejournal.com]

Wizards and witches that dabble in the dark arts are tricky and never want to get caught, so hiding dark objects in the muggle world is a great way to make sure the Ministry workers will not detect your dark objects. However, the DADA club has caught on to this trick and we are charged with tracking down these dark objects is your first mission for the term.



Details
- Post a picture of the item/creature that you think is related to the Dark Arts.
- Write at least a 50 word reason on why this is related to the Dark Arts and what the item/creature does/causes/etc.

Points:
10 points - Posting your picture with at least a 50 word description
10 pt max. for Bonus Item

Dates: submissions from now until 5:59 pm CDT on Jan. 14 (11:59 pm UTC on Jan. 14)

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Comments

[x-----starlight.livejournal.com]

This is a Furby. Clearly, these things are Dark creatures. They speak even when not on, they lurk in your closet for years without you knowing, and, come on, don't they just LOOK Dark and creepy? Dark wizards and witches use Furbies to spy on Muggles and find out what ways are best to ~attack them. They are also good at scaring people, which is clearly on every Dark wizard's to-do list.

Adrienne//Gryffindor

[mmailliw.livejournal.com]

This object, which Muggles call a "pencil sharpener", is actually a Dark torture device. It works as follows: put the finger of the victim into the appropriate-sized hole, turn the crank, and listen to the victim scream as shavings from the victim's skin reach the interior of the device. (Be warned: when the interior is full, you will need to empty it before you can torture any more people!) Ironically, the only Muggles who use this "pencil sharpener" for its proper use are little kids - who actually stick their own finger in the device and, for some reason, choose to torture themselves.

One last note: observe the dark color; with such a dark color, it's amazing that these objects are not recognized in the Muggle world as evil dark objects!

William//Slytherin//131

[quiescent.livejournal.com]

Clearly, the Snuggie is just dripping with Dark magic. I mean, seriously, how close could you get to looking like Voldemort's wardrobe save for a few extra splashes of color? And seriously, what's more Dark Magic like than a backwards blanket...with sleeves? This is so perposterous and ridiculous that whoever wears it would look like the person LEAST likely to possess dark magic. But clearly, you see the reverse psychology going on here...don't you? The whole Muggle world has fallen for these sinister objects one by one.

Veeka//Slytherin

[prongsy.livejournal.com]

Bananas. I mean, how the hell do they work? Look at that, it’s as creepy as a spider and it’s watching you. It's got a face like it wants to f--- you up! And, it’s just chalk full of potassium and shit. I’ll have you know potassium is actual unicorn blood. Legit. You’re now living a cursed life, a half life. So, eat that banana, enjoy taking the life of something so pure. But remember, Santa is watching… and so is the banana! o_O

Beth/Gryffindor/Legit Disliker of Bananas... and in 72 words

[nicccc.livejournal.com]

Deer are highly organised and devious devotees of the Dark Arts, bent on bringing about the destruction of Muggles worldwide, one vehicle at a time.

Via such heart-wrencher media as Bambi, deer have successfully fooled hapless Muggles into thinking them a helpless species, and perhaps even one to be pitied, but nothing could be further from the truth. Though there are some Muggles brave enough to stand up to and actively hunt these malicious mingers, the deer will ensure that the Muggle get his in the end, as seen below:



Deer accomplish their aims by waiting for Muggle motorists to pass by a wood or meadow in which they reside and then spring out into the road, hoping to cause the Muggle to swerve off the road and crash, which will hopefully leave the Muggle seriously maimed, injured and or killed.

There are small splinter cells of renegade extremist deer which sacrifice their own lives in the hopes of ending that of the Muggle in the vehicle into which they intentionally crash.

Make no mistake, deer are seriously deviant and caution should be exercised at all times in their presence.

Nic, Gryffindor

[rvillarrubia.livejournal.com]

Incense is definitively a thing related to Dark Arts. It makes you relax and feel drowsy when you smell it, because that is one of the best ways to make you feel more vulnerable to the attacks. It can be used as a drug too and to make the Imperious Curse be stronger in you!

Ruth // Slytherin

PANDAS

[peyton07.livejournal.com]

You're thinking "Aww how cute," right?

NO THAT IS WRONG. THEY ARE PURE EVIL. EVIL.

This is footage from a recent Panda attack:



THEY WILL TURN YOUR HEAD INTO A CUPCAKE. THEN THEY WILL EAT IT AND YOU SHALL BE HEADLESS. Obviously, without a head, YOU ARE DEAD (I rhyme SO YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS IMPORTANT FACT).

SO REMEMBER: PANDAS = PURE, DEADLY EVIL.

EVIL.

Peyton/Ravenclaw

[klef.livejournal.com]

High heeled shoes. I don't care who you are, I don't care if you tell me they are comfy because if so you've just been brainwashed or imperioed or something. High heeled shoes are evil and make it difficult to work, double if you're me have had foot surgery so it makes balancing more difficult. I mean sure, they look awesome, but I think we all know better.

Kerri//Gryffindor

[c-hrista.livejournal.com]

It isn’t well-known, but the cast of the Jersey Shore are actually highly-trained Dark Wizards who specialize in manipulating muggle minds. Their dramatic and moronic on-screen antics are just skillfully-acted attempts at dividing muggles among themselves and creating rifts in relationships (pro versus anti-Jersey-Shorers), therefore making the muggle world more vulnerable to attacks. The Witches on this show hide many dark secrets in their large hair, and the Wizards’ main goal is to Imperio as many women as possible into assisting them in creating a potential next generation of Jersey Shore wizards.

Another high-kept fact is that their slogan of GTL (which muggles are told stands for “Gym, Tan, Laundry”) actually stands for “Give Them [to] Lord [Voldemort]”, a reference to their desire to hand over the muggles that support them to the Dark Lord for torture and possibly death.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT SHOW IS.

Christa // Gryffindor

[vitallani.livejournal.com]

(http://i.imagefra.me/1a9hxad6)

Dark magic was hidden inside church organs for a very good reason. No one would ever expect to look for something evil in a place of worship. When played, the music effects those who listen to it. They are essentially brainwashed into doing what the player wants. There is no risk of accidental brainwashing because the person who cast the dark magic on the item has set it so only very specific tunes cause the brain washing.

Bryony/Slytherin

[beautifulbluee.livejournal.com]

my link didnt work!



Something this simple and clearly meaningless must have something sneaky and underhanded behind it right? Because unless there is some secret dart arts hidden deep within this product, the product has absolutely no purpose at all. And I can't believe someone would try to sell a product with no purpose (trying soooo hard not to giggle). Therefor I have come to the conclusion that head on -- apply directly to the forhead must have some dark arts attached to it whether in the product itself or the riveting commercials they play for it.

lindsay // hufflepuff

[potterpsycho.livejournal.com]

Seriously! Those porcelain dolls are more than creepy. That wouldn't be a problem since there are many creepy things around and they don't have to have anything to do with the Dark Arts, but you will exactly know what I mean if you ever had to sleep in a room full of porcelain dolls.
They gather in groups and follow you with their eyes wherever you go and then when you sleep, they'll walk through the room, punch you in the face and when you wake up the next morning you'll have a black eye and several bruises. The dolls will sit there and countinue to stare at you.

This is quite obviously full of dark magic!

[dana1130.livejournal.com]

Okay, seriously? If this does not creep you out and make you shiver, then the Dark Lord has really infiltrated your mind. Plus, if you haven't noticed, clowns regularly do magic in front of crowds, acting like they're people pleasing, but they're actually using mind control, more commonly known as the Imperius curse. Clowns are extremely dark creatures. I suspect that this was the first guise that Death Eaters used to avoid capture, but it was a little too conspicuous and also, everyone lost their dignity.

Dana//Gryffindor

[jezzifishie.livejournal.com]

Magic Eye pictures. Seriously, these things are pure evil. The Death Eaters who use them claim that if you put your head really close to the picture, a 3d image will 'magically' jump out at you. This is a complete lie - nothing happens, apart from the fact that you become hypnotised and brainwashed! You are under the control of the Death Eaters, and all it took was a minute of staring at a pretty picture. Don't believe the lies, don't be drawn in. Magic Eye pictures are evil.

Jez//Hufflepuff//Totally not bitter about never getting these pictures to work...

[scarletladyy.livejournal.com]

I don't care what anyone says, you can't tell me that Ventriloquist Dummy's aren't evil! Just look at them! Not only can they talk on their own, despite being dolls, they do creepy acts when you're not looking, too. They're obviously works of dark magic, and wizards are magicking muggles into thinking they're great toys to play with so they can be kept safe while their mansions are being searched.

Fairy//Hufflepuff

[mandyloo.livejournal.com]

Teletubbies are clearly users of dark magic. They speak in a weird language so no one can ever catch on to their evil plans. And when they sing their disturbing little songs? Yea that's actually how they hypnotize you so that they can then put the Imperius curse on you. And then they can control you and take over the world!

Mandy/Hufflepuff/seriously creeped out by teletubbies

[theaeblackthorn.livejournal.com]

HERB CHOPPER!

They say it's for just chopping herbs, but really I think it's a sinister piece of equipment that can be used to chop anything, and I believe because of the way that it can be used, and how quickly and tinly things are chipped that it's magically enchanted so that any sort of reattachment is impossible! Have you tried putting bits of chopped vegetable back together?! It's a horrific thing and muggles are using them to chop their delicious herbs! I don't know how we're going to capture them all, they're quite common place.

- sas // claw

Crocs

[senslogine.livejournal.com]

Crocs. Something this ugly and unesthetically pleasing can only be the result of the Dark Arts. Clearly there is some kind of plot to take over the minds of unsuspecting croc-wearers one at a time. They conform like lemmings, slowly but surely as people near them succumb to wearing the dreadful crocs. They are so light that they are like nothing there, which also suggests the intervention of the Dark Arts. SHOES HAVE SUBSTANCE, that is all.

Chelsea // Hufflepuff

[theshirelife.livejournal.com]

Barbie is one of the darkest tools in the dark wizard's arsenal. These "harmless" looking toys are used to indoctrinate Muggle girls at an early age into the sexist views of their society. Barbie encourages them to do everything in their power to be pretty, skinny, and boobalicious. These girls will turn to anorexia and bulimia to achieve their goal, oftentimes dying in the process- thus achieving the death of Muggles everywhere, one girl at a time. All in a day's work for the enterprising dark wizard.

Stephan//Slytherin

[thewordmap.livejournal.com]

Tape is one of the most evil and less suspicious art object there is. It is multi-functional and can be used in any form from sticking a dark object to a wall or binding hands together and using them for torture. Their stickiness is never-ending and Death Eaters will use it to bamboozle you.

Patty/Puff

[mrschucknoblet.livejournal.com]

(http://tinypic.com?ref=2rm2wi0)


I think it is obvious that THE SHAMWOW is a dark object. HOW ELSE CAN IT ABSORB SO MUCH?! It is obviously riddled with dark magic. The SHAMWOW spokesperson is also obviously a wizard, because only a wizard could star in an infomercial and become a star. The SHAMWOW actually works as well, and I think it is obvious that infomercial things never work. It must be magic for it to really work.

Courtney Rose//puff

[tsukkomi-boke.livejournal.com]

Uggs are a dark creature! For one thing they have spread like wildfire across the world and almost everyone who wants to be considered ‘in’ owns a pair even though they are some of the ugliest things every created. Obviously they have some sort of hypnotic power that compels Muggles to buy them. Also, Uggs make Muggles look shorter than they actually are and some say it’s the way they look on people. I think, however, that the creature is actually eating the Muggles feet and making them short!

Alecia//Hufflepuff

[ecchipiro.livejournal.com]

Hello Kitty. Created by the evil masterminds of Japanese Dark Wizards and Witches, this soul-sucking creature has infected the brains of millions worldwide. And there is no stopping it! You want proof for HOW evil this creature of pink and strawberry-red really is? It even invaded the already deadly tool of Russian descent called AK-47 (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v176/ecchipiro/hello-kitty-ak47-kawaii-armageddon.jpg?t=1294677822)!
BEWARE of this highly dangerous evil. The Ministry of Magic gives it a rating of XXXXX. Only highly proficient wizards and witches should deal with this breed. Proceed with care!


Piro//Slytherin

[jestana.livejournal.com]

Just as my esteemed colleague, Stephan (proudpansy), exposed Barbie for her part in corrupting Muggle girls, G.I. Joe is doing the same for Muggle Boys. This innocuous toy is teaching boys that violence is the best solution to any problem, that war means glory, honor, and accolades. By encouraging boys to fight, this toy is actually encouraging them to risk their lives and likely die far too young. How much sneakier can you get?

Mary/Hufflepuff

[los-york.livejournal.com]

A cellaur phone. The epitome of a dark object. When you look at this item, you think it’s a useful item to talk to relatives who live far away; but in reality, they extremely disloyal. When you want to talk to someone and tell them about your deepest, darkest, secret, the cellphone will travel the call to your rival. And now, your archneismes will know your covert.

Olivia//Gryffindor