I'm a stepmom, and while my son's father is in his life, his mother and I fight daily to combat the inherent laziness and apathy that is there. It's possible, but he will always have tendencies. Sometimes I think that it also depends on how strong certain genetic factors are. We comment regularly about how "weak" his father's genes are (always out of earshot of course), but some things are easier to counter and some aren't.

I completely agree that nature and nurture are very very close in what they can do, and maybe it is the learned behaviors that make the difference. After all, when pressed, Harry's first response is to push everyone away, leaving him exposed, not unlike Tom.

Kimberly / Slytherin

PS I'm glad you have two loving families as it were. ;-)